It is 2025 and we all have heard that the stigma around Mental Health has been decreasing over the years. As a Mental Health Therapist in private practice, I can tell you that is false. In this article I will present a true-life scenario of an elderly woman who was battered her whole life due to her diagnosis of Bi-Polar disorder. The woman for the sake of anonymity will called “Lori” Lori was born in NYC and lived what most would say an average middle income life. She was married with two children and maintained a job for 25 years despite batting bipolar disorder. Lori’s treatment included being on Depakote for her illness , for over 25 years. Lori retired and decided to move with her family to Tampa Florida where her son had already resided . For the many years she loved in New York, her quality of healthcare was exceptional.
This is where the story becomes disheartening. Lori moved in with her family into a Condo in the clearwater Florida area. Lori began to see doctors for her bi-polar disorder. After several sessions with a Psychiatrist, the Doctor took her off her Depakote claiming there was a risk of liver disease. Within months, Lori was prescribed a multitude of different medications, none which helped her mental illness, and the bipolar nightmare returned after being dormant for over 25 years. The doctor gave up on Lori and soon let her go as a patient because she felt Lori was too “complicated.’ Soon after, Lori suffered a stroke. She lost her ability to do many things but kept fighting . All this time she battled her mental illness which se call her demons. Not a single psychiatrist took an interest in helping her and the medications had no effect on her mental health.
Lori became more ill and had fallen and was placed in a rehab center during the covid nineteen crisis. Lori was abused by several Rehab centers and suffered severe PTSD while in the rehab centers. Whenever Lori said she was not well, they blamed her for being mentally ill and did not take her physical pain seriously. After 2 years in the rehabs, Lori returned home only to suffer a myriad of illnesses. She was in and out of the BayCare System (which is a monopoly down here) where she was not taken seriously, told everything was in her head and was crazy, During this time her family cried out for help only to find out that they made many promises they did not keep. She never was able to see a Neurologist despite shaking uncontrollably. Every time she said she was not well; they would come to the home and Baker Act her where she became even worse mentally. She and her family were never informed about her dementia diagnosis. They asked for a therapist for over 5 years, and she never saw even one.
At one point Lori and her daughter went to a BayCare affiliated doctor where there was disagreement on care. The office actually threw her and her daughter out of the office and backlisted them from receiving care.
Doctor after Doctor also referred to her as the Bi-polar patient and she was treated like a lepper. Lori struggles with her deteriorating help and lack of quality health care while her daughter took care of her for over 5 years. Lori deteriorated to the point where her daughter could no longer manage her care.
Hence, the nursing home nightmares begin . Lori entered the first nursing home and was already labeled as a difficult patient. There was never a doctor to speak to and every time she said she wanted to die, they involuntarily placed her under a Florida Baker act(72-hour hold) act without further investigating whether this was actually true or even possible considering her frail condition . Lori never actually saw a psychiatrist more than one time over 2 years. They told the family she would she a Neurologist for her increasing tremors, but none ever was provided. Lori became more detached and felt like she was always being ostracized for her mental illness. Her family felt helpless and despite dozens of visits and calls, they never were given answers as to Lori’s actual diagnosis or condition.
As Lori moved from nursing home to nursing home, it became harder to find her a nursing home . Every home rejected her based on mental illness. At this point she was ninety pounds and harmless. Finally, they found a nursing home, Gateway Rehabilitation in Pinellas Park. The family though she was improving , despite never speaking to the director after numerous phone calls were made to his office. When the family came to see Lori, the family was told that she yelled allot and kept others up, they still had not sent in a psychiatrist to evaluate her. Lori was deteriorating and not eating. As she was losing weight quickly and the hospital food inedible, the family brought in food and was told by staff we could not do that because she had a swallowing issue. She clearly needed food. While in their care, Lori developed a bed sore. Four months later the sore had grown but the family only found out when she was sent to the hospital. After being in the hospital for 3 days, the rehab told the hospital that they would not take Lori back and did not site a reason. Due to her Bipolar diagnosis, she was labeled as “a problem patient” and the hospital could not find a place to send her. Finally, the hospital, despite thinking she was terminal called hospice services who denied her . Finally, Hospice accepted her, and the family met with the staff of the hospice after her first day of being in there, Hospice said Lori would be sent out to a rehab since she was refusing medication and that there was nothing they could do. Funny thing, is that not what hospice is for? At every stage of the long journey, the family asked for a prognosis. They were told her vitals were ok and nobody ever mentioned mortality. After three days at the hospice, Lori fell into an unresponsive state. The hospice simply said “we did not give her anything and she is just sleeping. The day prior she was eating and talking . The hospice had told the family there was nothing that they could do. She still was not seen by a doctor, or the family never received a diagnosis. Lori never received proper care from almost every doctor she had seen. As soon as they saw her bi-polar diagnosis it was the first thing they mentioned to the family.
Lori was never formally diagnosed with Dementia despite the family asking dozens of times for a thorough exam and treatment, The cries were ignored. The dementia she had was never addressed by any BayCare doctor.
Lori passed away after just a week in the hospice. When the lead nurse was asked, she said she thought Lori was sin severe septic shock. Once again, nobody at the BayCare Hospital ever checked for sepsis. Nobody ever offered IV nutrition. Nobody ever told the family she was that ill.
Lori’s family is convinced that she died partially from neglect and poor treatment attributed to her mental health. Had she received adequate treatment and if there was better communication between staff to the family, perhaps she would be alive today.
The message that I have to all that believe their loved ones are well cared for is to be very vigilant and follow up regularly. Unfortunately, the stigma surrounding mental health is far from gone. Especially in children and the elderly, our most vulnerable populations. Instead of portraying them as sick or a problem, treat them with dignity as they are humans who are suffering from a debilitating illness. The caretakers who collaborate with these vulnerable patients daily are grossly undertrained in understanding the basics of mental health. There are few doctors ever around in these nursing homes. It is nearly impossible to ever get through to any nurse or assistant by phone in most cases. Many things are not documented and when there is a shift change, they do not seem to communicate with each other.
I propose and increase the standards for one to work in these facilities. Mental Health training is necessary. Even at the highest levels, those with mental health diseases are not treating equally, Counselors are needed in these facilities. Lori never saw one counselor in her several years in rehabs and a nursing home. There is no adequate diagnosing or treatment for the elderly . We need to advocate for these mothers and fathers, grandfathers, and grandmothers, who only wanted to be treated with dignity and love. They deserve the same care as those without mental health illness. Please help me spread the word . I will provide contact information if you have a story of your own to tell.
By the way, Lori happens to be my mother, and I am a Licensed Mental Health Counselor in private practice. Please advocate, one day this can be you or a loved one.
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